Comfort Food

I remember watching tv shows where people share their stories about how their weight crept up on them over time without them realizing it. Sitting on our couches on the outside looking in, that seems impossible, right? How did someone NOT see that extra 100, 200, 300 pounds wrapping around their arms, legs and abs? How did they not notice that they no longer fit into any of their clothes? I am very fortunate that I didn't hit such an extreme point, but I really do understand how that happens.

In the midst of the cleanse, a man close to my heart who helped raise me passed away of cancer. I was such a mess at that age. One of the worst attitudes of any teenager I knew at the time. But somehow he saw something - a flicker of hope maybe?

After I got the message that he was gone, I sat on my couch crying. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. The only thing that I thought could console me would be a brownie sundae. Life's elixor - the very fountain from which happiness is born. With ice cream, a warmed rich chocolate brownie with a cherry on top. ooooohhhhhh yeah. Now mind you these were all the thoughts that raced through my mind in under a minute as I panicked and tried to figure out how to cope.

I didn't reach out for culinary comfort. But I did finally 'get' the concept of comfort food like never before.

Slow and Steady

I was told that on days four and five, I might experience the blues. As your body tries to adapt to the new diet of no sugar, carbs, caffeine, etc. I actually didn't have that experience personally. I would say the biggest change came in that I didn't leave the house as much. In a controlled environment, this cleanse is pretty easy. You're home, taking care of bills, working on the garage, doing laundry, all the day-to-day things. And in-between we wove in the practice of eating five times each day and eating twice the amount of vegetables than fruit. At the beginning it seemed so complicated, but in retrospect I think it was the first time I ever paid any attention at all to my diet. So much to learn, so very much to learn. Onward and upward.

Aha! Moment, Part I

I'm certain there will be many aha! moments during this 21 day cleanse. I've already touched on suddenly desiring every horrible food out there that will clog my arteries, provide me a few more chins, and give my thighs an oh-so-sexy surface-of-the-moon texture. Although I KNOW this, I would kill for a cupcake right now.

For those interested in the cleanse, I have a few observations. One being, if this is a huge departure from your regular diet plan, prepare yourself. There will be changes almost immediately in terms of how your body operates. Aside from going seemingly ALL the time, I'm also finding that I am never getting full. I eat at regular intervals and never go hungry, but I also never have the sensation of having over-eaten. It feels like I'm eating the perfect right amount of food for me. Overall it feels really good. It's what 'moderation' feels like.

We spent the first two days at home trying to get our rhythm down as we figured out how to squeeze in a life in-between supplements, meals and protein shakes. Challenging, but it's slowly falling into place. One tip regarding the shakes. It was recommended we use fresh or frozen organic fruits along with SP Complete (protein powder), flax seed oil, water and ice. The first few shakes were super thick and hard to drink. When playing with the recipe a bit we removed the ice and the consistency of the shakes improved tenfold - it even tasted better. Now they taste like any other smoothie....however that may be my taste buds adjusting to my reality for the next three weeks. Gotta love biology.

Gulp!

So far so good. I have not dropped dead from the new diet. The changes I notice thus far are pretty minimal. I'm now having to go constantly, which is tolerable and painless. It's basically being in a constant state of having 'broken the seal' and not being able to hold it very long (off to Costco we go for a freight load of toilet paper).

I'm also ultra sensitive to food commercials. It doesn't matter if I haven't eaten it in YEARS (or in some cases EVER), food commercials trigger the cravings. After an unfortunate arrangement of TV sponsors for the evening, I went to bed last night craving a Carl's Jr double cheeseburger, Hostess cupcakes, Extra Crunchy Cheetos, and a tall, frosty glass of Miller High Life - just plain cruel.

I think the key to success here is that my hubby is magic in the kitchen - among other places. He has managed to make vegetable concoctions or scrambles that include the foods we're allowed to eat that are really good. I think this program basically bores your taste buds into hibernation, thus making foods with complex and rich tastes look appealing. The goal seems to be to continuously shove those urges into submission. I think the miracle of herbs and spices will be my lifeline for the next 20 days....oy.

Day 1 - The SP Cleanse Kicks Off

And we're off. Today is the first day of our 21-day SP Cleanse. A quick summary of the program: 21 days, first 10 days are fruits, vegetables and protein shakes. the next 11 days you are allowed to add fish and poultry. The cleanse is structured to encourage 'healthy kidney function, help purify the blood, support lymphatic system function, promote efficient gastrointestinal elimination, and maintain healthy liver detoxification function.'

We've had our first of three daily rounds of supplements with a protein shake. I think the 'newness' of it makes it interesting, but the writing is on the wall. This is going to be a pain in the ass. After the first shake, you wait an hour to eat an actual meal.

I will say that my first ever vegan/ cleanse meal - prepared by my lovely and talented husband - was amazing. Tossed together with the foods we're allowed to eat - half a cup of lentils, tomatoes, mushrooms, zucchini, and garlic cooked for no more than 4 minutes - it was delicious, filling and flavorful. It was a wonderful surprise. Not to mention very encouraging.

Even though I wasn't eating them before the cleanse, at this very moment I must admit I could totally down an entire bag of Cool Ranch Doritos with a huge dirty martini. The thick seasoning caked onto the crisped tortilla chips. The filthy martini with three olives, cold to the lips but seeping in to warm you inside out. A true Calgone moment. Alas this is not my reality, at least not for a few weeks. I imagine there will be a variety of odd cravings - it should be interesting.

So since I don't own a scale, I begin with these measurements.

Right Calf: 16.5"
Saddle Bags: 43.5"
Waist: 35"
Bust: 40"
Upper Arm: 13"
Thigh: 22"

I don't have specific goals yet, just to fit into all the clothes in my closet by the end of 2010. Oy.

On the Mend

I'm slowly starting to feel more like myself. The big, gorgeous, yellow glowing orb has shown its face for the first time in quite a while and the vitamin D is seeping into my pores! I went to the doctor today and was told I appeared to be on the right track to hit the studio once again mid next week to start my second 21 day yoga challenge. I have to say I'm excited to get back and continue learning and growing my practice. I'm sitting on my couch with bag full of frozen stir-fry pressed against my back and just looking out the window fills my heart. As much as I love the rain and occasional snow, the winter months can be challenging if I don't seek some time in the sun.

We have also set a date to begin the 21 day SP Purification Program, which will be this Monday. Already I am feeling anxious and missing my morning coffee. Honestly, I don't know why I'm so nervous or sweating it so much. It's THREE weeks. And I will be healthier when I reach the other side. YET......I mourn the loss of my beloved brownies even though I have yet to say goodbye. I am such a wuss.

Hitting a Nerve

OH CRUEL BACK PAIN!!! I have taken for granted the joy and ecstasy of a healthy, pain free back!! I have learned a lesson however - a hot yoga environment can encourage you to sometimes push your body too far.


In a hot yoga class the other day, I transitioned from Warrior II (Dhanurasana) to Half Moon pose (Ardha Chandrasana). As I found my balance - feeling strong and steady, the instructor suggested we try bending our left leg (while balanced on our right) and grab our ankle with our left hand. BIG mistake - for me at least. My left upper hip seized with an ENORMOUS charlie horse and without warning I fell to the floor. After a few minutes of Child's pose and a few other stretches, I very carefully finished the rest of the class and limped home. For the next two days my hip was sore, but I was quasi-mobile.

Then on day three I began having crazy muscle spasms in my lower back and I've spent the last five days limping to acupuncture and taking muscle relaxants. I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow and making a chiropractor appointment as well. Word of warning folks, just because the room is hot, doesn't mean your muscles are yet. LISTEN and pay attention to the subtle messages your body gives you. Instructors are there to offer options, but are never telling you you MUST take it to the next level. They are offering options for when you yourself decide your body is ready. The class belongs to you to make it your own. I made the mistake of being in a passive space and not listening and being present. Lesson learned. Now I will eat my farewell-to-sugar pan of brownies before they move to my forbidden menu for the three week purification...