Comfort Food

I remember watching tv shows where people share their stories about how their weight crept up on them over time without them realizing it. Sitting on our couches on the outside looking in, that seems impossible, right? How did someone NOT see that extra 100, 200, 300 pounds wrapping around their arms, legs and abs? How did they not notice that they no longer fit into any of their clothes? I am very fortunate that I didn't hit such an extreme point, but I really do understand how that happens.

In the midst of the cleanse, a man close to my heart who helped raise me passed away of cancer. I was such a mess at that age. One of the worst attitudes of any teenager I knew at the time. But somehow he saw something - a flicker of hope maybe?

After I got the message that he was gone, I sat on my couch crying. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. The only thing that I thought could console me would be a brownie sundae. Life's elixor - the very fountain from which happiness is born. With ice cream, a warmed rich chocolate brownie with a cherry on top. ooooohhhhhh yeah. Now mind you these were all the thoughts that raced through my mind in under a minute as I panicked and tried to figure out how to cope.

I didn't reach out for culinary comfort. But I did finally 'get' the concept of comfort food like never before.

Slow and Steady

I was told that on days four and five, I might experience the blues. As your body tries to adapt to the new diet of no sugar, carbs, caffeine, etc. I actually didn't have that experience personally. I would say the biggest change came in that I didn't leave the house as much. In a controlled environment, this cleanse is pretty easy. You're home, taking care of bills, working on the garage, doing laundry, all the day-to-day things. And in-between we wove in the practice of eating five times each day and eating twice the amount of vegetables than fruit. At the beginning it seemed so complicated, but in retrospect I think it was the first time I ever paid any attention at all to my diet. So much to learn, so very much to learn. Onward and upward.

Aha! Moment, Part I

I'm certain there will be many aha! moments during this 21 day cleanse. I've already touched on suddenly desiring every horrible food out there that will clog my arteries, provide me a few more chins, and give my thighs an oh-so-sexy surface-of-the-moon texture. Although I KNOW this, I would kill for a cupcake right now.

For those interested in the cleanse, I have a few observations. One being, if this is a huge departure from your regular diet plan, prepare yourself. There will be changes almost immediately in terms of how your body operates. Aside from going seemingly ALL the time, I'm also finding that I am never getting full. I eat at regular intervals and never go hungry, but I also never have the sensation of having over-eaten. It feels like I'm eating the perfect right amount of food for me. Overall it feels really good. It's what 'moderation' feels like.

We spent the first two days at home trying to get our rhythm down as we figured out how to squeeze in a life in-between supplements, meals and protein shakes. Challenging, but it's slowly falling into place. One tip regarding the shakes. It was recommended we use fresh or frozen organic fruits along with SP Complete (protein powder), flax seed oil, water and ice. The first few shakes were super thick and hard to drink. When playing with the recipe a bit we removed the ice and the consistency of the shakes improved tenfold - it even tasted better. Now they taste like any other smoothie....however that may be my taste buds adjusting to my reality for the next three weeks. Gotta love biology.

Gulp!

So far so good. I have not dropped dead from the new diet. The changes I notice thus far are pretty minimal. I'm now having to go constantly, which is tolerable and painless. It's basically being in a constant state of having 'broken the seal' and not being able to hold it very long (off to Costco we go for a freight load of toilet paper).

I'm also ultra sensitive to food commercials. It doesn't matter if I haven't eaten it in YEARS (or in some cases EVER), food commercials trigger the cravings. After an unfortunate arrangement of TV sponsors for the evening, I went to bed last night craving a Carl's Jr double cheeseburger, Hostess cupcakes, Extra Crunchy Cheetos, and a tall, frosty glass of Miller High Life - just plain cruel.

I think the key to success here is that my hubby is magic in the kitchen - among other places. He has managed to make vegetable concoctions or scrambles that include the foods we're allowed to eat that are really good. I think this program basically bores your taste buds into hibernation, thus making foods with complex and rich tastes look appealing. The goal seems to be to continuously shove those urges into submission. I think the miracle of herbs and spices will be my lifeline for the next 20 days....oy.

Day 1 - The SP Cleanse Kicks Off

And we're off. Today is the first day of our 21-day SP Cleanse. A quick summary of the program: 21 days, first 10 days are fruits, vegetables and protein shakes. the next 11 days you are allowed to add fish and poultry. The cleanse is structured to encourage 'healthy kidney function, help purify the blood, support lymphatic system function, promote efficient gastrointestinal elimination, and maintain healthy liver detoxification function.'

We've had our first of three daily rounds of supplements with a protein shake. I think the 'newness' of it makes it interesting, but the writing is on the wall. This is going to be a pain in the ass. After the first shake, you wait an hour to eat an actual meal.

I will say that my first ever vegan/ cleanse meal - prepared by my lovely and talented husband - was amazing. Tossed together with the foods we're allowed to eat - half a cup of lentils, tomatoes, mushrooms, zucchini, and garlic cooked for no more than 4 minutes - it was delicious, filling and flavorful. It was a wonderful surprise. Not to mention very encouraging.

Even though I wasn't eating them before the cleanse, at this very moment I must admit I could totally down an entire bag of Cool Ranch Doritos with a huge dirty martini. The thick seasoning caked onto the crisped tortilla chips. The filthy martini with three olives, cold to the lips but seeping in to warm you inside out. A true Calgone moment. Alas this is not my reality, at least not for a few weeks. I imagine there will be a variety of odd cravings - it should be interesting.

So since I don't own a scale, I begin with these measurements.

Right Calf: 16.5"
Saddle Bags: 43.5"
Waist: 35"
Bust: 40"
Upper Arm: 13"
Thigh: 22"

I don't have specific goals yet, just to fit into all the clothes in my closet by the end of 2010. Oy.

On the Mend

I'm slowly starting to feel more like myself. The big, gorgeous, yellow glowing orb has shown its face for the first time in quite a while and the vitamin D is seeping into my pores! I went to the doctor today and was told I appeared to be on the right track to hit the studio once again mid next week to start my second 21 day yoga challenge. I have to say I'm excited to get back and continue learning and growing my practice. I'm sitting on my couch with bag full of frozen stir-fry pressed against my back and just looking out the window fills my heart. As much as I love the rain and occasional snow, the winter months can be challenging if I don't seek some time in the sun.

We have also set a date to begin the 21 day SP Purification Program, which will be this Monday. Already I am feeling anxious and missing my morning coffee. Honestly, I don't know why I'm so nervous or sweating it so much. It's THREE weeks. And I will be healthier when I reach the other side. YET......I mourn the loss of my beloved brownies even though I have yet to say goodbye. I am such a wuss.

Hitting a Nerve

OH CRUEL BACK PAIN!!! I have taken for granted the joy and ecstasy of a healthy, pain free back!! I have learned a lesson however - a hot yoga environment can encourage you to sometimes push your body too far.


In a hot yoga class the other day, I transitioned from Warrior II (Dhanurasana) to Half Moon pose (Ardha Chandrasana). As I found my balance - feeling strong and steady, the instructor suggested we try bending our left leg (while balanced on our right) and grab our ankle with our left hand. BIG mistake - for me at least. My left upper hip seized with an ENORMOUS charlie horse and without warning I fell to the floor. After a few minutes of Child's pose and a few other stretches, I very carefully finished the rest of the class and limped home. For the next two days my hip was sore, but I was quasi-mobile.

Then on day three I began having crazy muscle spasms in my lower back and I've spent the last five days limping to acupuncture and taking muscle relaxants. I'm seeing the doctor tomorrow and making a chiropractor appointment as well. Word of warning folks, just because the room is hot, doesn't mean your muscles are yet. LISTEN and pay attention to the subtle messages your body gives you. Instructors are there to offer options, but are never telling you you MUST take it to the next level. They are offering options for when you yourself decide your body is ready. The class belongs to you to make it your own. I made the mistake of being in a passive space and not listening and being present. Lesson learned. Now I will eat my farewell-to-sugar pan of brownies before they move to my forbidden menu for the three week purification...

Position on etiquette

There is one consistent in the yoga world. There will almost always be more women than men in class. And what happens when you put a room full of women together? Yes, they compare and become competitive. This is fine if taken in moderation. Pushing yourself to be better is a great thing, and if measuring yourself against others to see where you are in terms of skill level is helpful, I say go for it. Over time you forget others in the room and flow through the experience as if no one else is around anyway. But from time to time, I do find myself admiring another's effortless looking crow pose while I cursing my lack of balance and grace....but I'll get there. Just gotta have faith.

There are however a small group who use class time as an opportunity to show their stuff...whether they have any or not. Either they attend a class far below their skill level to give themselves a shot of self love or they have a bizarre sense of rebellion and spend the hour competing with the actual instructor. The latter really messes with my chi and makes me yearn for a Krav Maga class.

Elizabeth Post may have known her stuff at a proper English tea party, but she never included a chapter that broke down the proper etiquette of maneuvering within the yoga community. This fact was never more apparent than my recent trip to a hot yoga class.


Perhaps I'm alone in my thinking but I believe there is a code of conduct to follow. You should always be aware of your space. Are you too close to your neighbor? Are there other areas than might allow you (and others) more room to move? Depending on the room, usually people are aligned in rows or a certain pattern. Most people understand this and abide so as to make room for others. I had the misfortune of being next to a woman who had something to prove - seemingly not to anyone in particular, just in general. We'll call her Menace.

So Menace begins by coming into class and dropping her mat 2.5 inches from mine - with plenty of room available elsewhere. In retrospect I should have picked up everything and moved but I didn't. The room filled up as she was stacking her blocks, belt, etc around her with some of them laying on my mat. Um, yeah. I moved them onto hers and just laid down to collect my zen and try not to kill thy neighbor. As the class began it became apparent that 'grace' and 'fluid flow' were of no concern to her. Menace stomped into poses like Wayne Gretzky attacking a hockey puck. Breathing loudly - even by yoga standards - she raced from one pose to the next before the instructor even suggested the next pose. And she would hold the last pose in the series and look at others as if we were somehow slow. The cherry on top to the entire experience was that when the instructor would specify a side - such as raise the left leg or the right leg - she would do exactly the opposite. This would leave me facing her, inches apart on poses we were holding for at times a minute or two. Long enough if your looking towards someone's back, an ETERNITY if they're in your face. And what an angry face it was. One hopes when you reach your mid-late thirties you have a respect for others and a self awareness keeping you from being 'that' person.

Fuel Upgrade

In a week or so I will begin a 21 purification (dietary detox) program suggested by my acupuncturist. Thankfully my husband is coming along for the ride as well to make it easier. He already eats really well, so he isn't as intimidated about it as I am. In addition, I'm going to attempt another 21 day yoga challenge while I'm doing this purification so I can get the most out of the experience. My hope is that I can learn to better moderate my eating and consistently stick to a balanced diet.

Since Thanksgiving, I have made tiny improvements to my diet. To start, I quit drinking soda and Vitamin water to lessen our grocery bill. I know most would be motivated by the simple effort of eating better. But to be honest, it was all about saving money in the beginning. Now, I can honestly say I don't really think about it or miss it. I grew up drinking a up to a liter a day. Now, it's decaf iced tea and sugar free Crystal Light. As small as it is, it does feel like an achievement. The first of many towards adopting an overall healthier diet.

I owe a lot to my practice in helping me stay grounded. It's given me a body that's stronger and the desire and awareness to improve what I use to feed and nourish it. Even though I know this is the a healthy next step, I must admit it is going to be VERY challenging to give up some of my simple creature comforts for three weeks, especially my morning coffee and yogurt. But every journey begins with the first step...and I'm sure caffeine and sugar withdrawals aren't fatal.....right????

Getting a Grip

As I've become more of a fan of the warm/hot yoga classes, I've had some lessons to learn about best practices. It feels like I have made every mistake one can make along the way in terms of making the journey a smooth one. Case in point: HYDRATION. But there is always OH-so-much-more to learn.

As we all prepare for class, I watch the various rituals of each yogi to help them make the most of their practice. I had noticed spray bottles around the periphery of the room but never thought much of it. But as fate would have it this tool would prove very helpful. For Christmas, my mom and dad gave me some yoga gear that would help inspire me to continue building on my practice. One of them being the yoga towel. This towel is roughly the size of the yoga mat and is meant to lay on top of your mat. Or for some folks it acts as their actual yoga mat.

I got it home and tried a few poses. The purpose of the towel is that I REALLY sweat it out in class. So much so that my yoga mat (aka slip-n-slide) becomes difficult to use for the last 20 minutes or so in class. So I thought this would be a great tool for traction - and perhaps keeping my mat a little cleaner. But when I tried it out at home my hands would slide on the towel during downward dogs and side poses, so I didn't take it with me to class. But during the week I hit a hot yoga class first thing in the morning and was one of the first to arrive. One by one people trickled in and started arranging their equipment. As a woman spread out her towel I saw her reach for the water bottle and start misting the towel before we began. At that moment the light bulb went off and I made certain to bring my towel next time.

All I can say is GENIUS! I am by no means a connoisseur of yoga towels but, I am SO happy with my Gaiam towel. I'm no longer sliding all over the place while trying to hold and transition poses. Like I said, I'm a work in progress, but I'm always inspired by these little a-ha moments along the way.

Lucky 23!!!

Woohoo!!! I made it! It is my first yogi accomplishment! It feels amazing. I not only made it to 21, but added 2 more days, for a grand total of 23 days immersed in yoga. My only regret is not taking my measurements before I cannon-balled back into the yoga world. Not that I have noticed any significant weight loss, but there are a couple of muscle lines that weren't there a month ago. Now there will be a few days of the monthly cramps accompanied with ridiculous amounts of Advil to enable me to move. I will be sitting on the couch drinking coffee and catching up on Lost. Sounds a little relaxing (and painful) but I will miss my routine for the few days I'm not practicing.

So one of the sacrifices of my yoga focus has been guitar practice. I have the most amazing instructor yet I'm struggling to sit down and apply myself. During this time off, I'm finding it's hard to rebuild yourself when you've spent your entire adult life defined by your profession. Where do I even begin? I guess I answered this question when I started the challenge. Yoga. The practice of meditative breathing and moving throughout the vinyasas.

Of all the nerve

So close to the finish line and wouldn't you know it - a pinched nerve in the ball of my right foot. Seriously, the TIMING????? It felt similar to the sharp pain you experience when you pull a groin muscle. How can such a teeny tiny part cause such an emense amount of pain??? I woke up in the morning and got up to take my first step out of bed and *pow* I realized putting even a little weight on it created a sharp pain that shot up from my foot to the tips of ears. Crap.

But I forced myself to go to class anyway, telling the instructor what my issue was before we got started. She told me to do what I could and offered up some modifications that would take some of the weight off of my foot. It definately helped, but it was still really difficult. I think I discounted the impact yoga has on your feet alone.

After two days the issue subsided and I was back to being fancy free in the feet. But I do have a gripe with the yoga instructors I've encountered over the years. This might simply be my lack of professional training, but I don't understand why all the balancing poses have to be grouped together during class. Without fail I end up having to take a small break in the midst of class and rub out charlie horses because my arches have reached their limit. Is there a reason these postures can't be peppered throughout the class? Is there a health benefit I'm missing??

Throughout yoga practice, we ask A LOT of our little toes. Bending them this way and that, asking each foot to independently support our entire body weight in various positions. My sweet husband will rub my feet on the couch while we're watching movies, and that makes SUCH a difference! In fact, I try to make certain I give my little paws the pampering they deserve. Once a month a get a french pedicure with a girlfriend (complete with exfoliation and calf rub) and recently purchased a pair of YogaToes that I wear for a hour or so each day to stretch and relax my feet. They are awesome by the way, take a look if you're interested: http://www.yogapro.com/ts/toestretcher.html?&gclid=CI2T5IGjjqACFSAkagodmQ6jdQ

Lesson learned. Respect your feet and they will do you right.

We've got Male

As I mentioned earlier, I enjoy trying out different classes and different instructors. Each instructor can bring something completely unique to the same style of class. So on day 17 I was excited to try an afternoon intermediate class. I unrolled my mat, pulled my hair in a ponytail and started some basic stretches. A guy walked in wearing a bandana wrapped around his head and some incredible tattoo artwork on his arms and chest. At first glance he seemed like the type of guy I typically see in yoga classes - albeit in very small numbers. In my experience, yoga has been a very female dominated arena.

As Bandana reached the front of class he turned around to face the class and introduce himself. We quickly learned he was filling in for Jenny (the regular instructor), that he too taught some classes we 'might want to check out', and that he made his living as a professional comic book artist. So if the single ladies weren't paying attention at first, he certainly had their attention once we got started.

Although it seemed 'awkward' to me to have a man teaching me yoga, he proved to be pretty good. He walked though each pose and then circled the room, giving verbal instruction on how some could improve their alignment. Obviously making hands-on adjustments like the female instructors wouldn't fly well with some. Even though the class wasn't heated I found myself breaking a sweat half-way through. He didn't push us too hard, I was just experiencing the class differently today.

I'm learning through my practice that some days are harder than others - for no apparent reason. Some days I feel strong and find myself going further and feeling stronger. Then other days I can't seem to handle the simplest of poses. I don't know if there's a pattern or if it's as simple as some days ya got it, some days ya don't. I suppose only time will tell.

Bikram

For many years I have heard of a type of yoga called Bikram yoga. This class moves one through a series of postures in an environment heated to 105 degrees. The theory behind Bikram is a heated environment promotes deeper stretches (which for me this has proven to be absolutely true). It also tauts that through stretching and compressing muscles, muscles and joint health are restored through the delivery of fresh oxygen.

Looking through the schedule of classes I decided it was time to give it a try. I entered the class and quickly realized by listening to others as they unrolled their mats that those who follow this practice are true die-hards. Once we got started I realized I would never be one of them. It was the most miserable hour I can recall in my exercise history. The poses did not feel cohesive. It felt jagged, aggressive, and perhaps more for an advanced yogi. There was simply no smooth flow. It was misery from the first second to the very last. I was nauseous and ready to roll up my mat and leave, but decided to truly know my path, I needed to experience as many aspects of the yoga world as I could. So I participated, I took it all in, and I'm so glad I did.

After class and later that night after a hot shower, I sat back on the couch with a ginormous glass of iced tea and I felt AMAZING. My head was clear, my body felt relaxed and at peace. Although this is not a version of yoga that I enjoy or will pursue on a regular basis, I can say that it is worth a try. The practice I'm seeking is one where I enjoy the both the process and the benefits, which happily I found many,

Yin, no Yang

Day 14, Yin Yoga. All I can say is DAMN! After all the different classes over the last two weeks, this class felt so amazing it was a spiritual experience. I have taken it before but at random times and without the focus and body awareness that has been developing for me in this self challenge. The instructor noted that this class exercises patience, but oddly for someone so incredibly impatient, my body really embraced the practice.

Yin yoga is a series of deep stretches that focus on the connective tissues in your joints. The instructor guides you through several asanas (yogic postures) for four minutes. I have no idea if four is the 'magic' number or if this particular teacher felt that this was the right duration. But for me, it worked great. It was not a heated environment (which I would like to try in the future if it's out there) but at regular temperature. It was at night, and since it's the middle of winter it was dark outside, making the wall of windows facing north a huge mirror wall exposing the reflections of all who entered the room. The lighting was dim and the energy was extremely calming as we moved from one position to another, inhaling and exhaling slowly and with purpose. I could feel the gravitational pull bringing me deeper into each pose and the blood flow getting into the tiny areas of my joints regularly neglected. I could feel my joints become internally 'lubed' and my overall posture felt strong and my movement flexible and fluid.

At the end of class, with a bow and a 'namaste', I left the studio with a sense of calm and utter happiness. When I had taken the class before I felt good, but not the overall sense of peace of this experience. This class, for me, seems the most effective and most powerful when coupled with other classes throughout the week that are more muscularly active .

Getting hotter

Through days six to twelve, my challenge was simply creating fitness discipline. There was always something I could be doing for work, so I'd always opt for making certain my clients were taken care of before embarking on a trip to the gym. And I think on a subconscious level it was easier to work than to work out.

Day thirteen arrived and I decided to attend an hpf class, hot power fusion yoga. I walked into the studio and introduced myself to the instructor, asking her what I could expect in class and how it varied from the others. She shared with me her philosophy and what made this option stand out from the others. 'It's like a regular hot yoga class, but we move slowly, really feeling our poses and focusing on the breath.' I went in feeling optimistic. As I opened the door the mighty fist of walking from a 68 degree room to one of 108 almost knocked me over. I had taken a hot yoga class before, but this room had visible steam. Even the mirrors had streams of condensation running down from ceiling to floor. After a barely audible 'ah shit' I looked around to see I was the first to arrive and chose a piece of real estate in the front left corner to place my mat. Within the next ten minutes the class was completely full. Everyone had roughly eight inches of space between them. This, I thought, must be a good sign. It's popular so it must really achieve the inner peace the instructor had sold me on only moments earlier. I mean, that must be the case.....right?

We began class. And it is was brutal as the name suggests. After the first ten minutes, my clothes were drenched all the way through and no matter how many times I wiped my face off with the towel, by the time I put it down the sweat was back to dripping in my eyes. The term 'feel the burn' is an understatement. My muscles were on fire mustering the strength to hold the positions. However I noticed that I was going far deeper in the poses than I ever had before. Maybe there really was something to this strange torture I had signed up for...

The instructor's voice was quite soothing. She would walk around the class making adjustments to ensure we had good form and explained what the purpose of each pose was. Different twists massaged different organs, squeezing out toxins with every deep inhale and slow exhale. 'Life is in the breath. Breathe it in deep.' We continued through class, which by the mid point felt like aqua aerobics. Although we were moving slowly, my heart was racing and I had to focus to not lose my breath. I was dripping wet and feeling the weight of my clothes get heavier and heavier as the room got hotter and hotter. Towards the end of the hour, I almost fell flat on my face while attempting my final downward dog. My rubber mat had become a slip and slide and I was courting danger with every move. Finally, this our hands to heart center, eyes closed, and a group namaste, we ended our hour long session in the yoga oven.

I walked out of the studio with a slap of cold air hitting me as my clothes were still dripping on the way to the car. It would typically be at these moments where I'd run into a ex boyfriend or business associate looking like a drenched dog recently pulled from the river. But luck was on my side and I made it home incognito.

Never has a shower felt so good. Never has lunch tasted so good. Never has the couch felt so warm and welcoming. Five large glasses of water and a full stomach brought me back to life. And as traumatic as the experience initially was, my body felt grateful. Any impurity that had been stored in the recesses of my body felt as if they had been purged. It had been a very good day.

And away we go

At the beginning of this challenge, I was excited. I could mentally picture my body transforming. My waist stretched out long and lean. My legs growing a space in between as my muscles became strong and the fat melted away to reveal contour and definition. I envisioned my posture auto-correcting after a lifetime of shoulders unconsciously tensed up towards my ears while pushing forward to create what I was convinced would someday become a hunchback. I would walk with the grace of ballet dancer, no longer crave foods that weren't pure and organic, and would learn French only to find I was a natural. People would mistake me as a French woman due to my long, lean, graceful posture and the uncanny beauty of my 'r' dancing from the back of my throat to engage in exquisite conversation. Ah yes, it would be a beautiful thing....

[insert reality here]

So day one I felt great. I felt the first building block of my rebranding had been laid. I walked out of class elated that my journey had begun. Day two and three I was stiff and realizing that the poses weren't as easy as I had thought. I also learned that the flexibility I had had all my life had also been effected by my career focus. Flexibility, strength, form - all of it takes nurturing. It takes a respect of your body to take the time and maintain and grow your body into what you want it to be. (one of many 'a ha!' moments to come. I opted to try out all the different classes my yoga studio had to offer. Beginning, intermediate, hot, warm, regular temperatures. Everything would be experienced to find what I liked and what effect different types of classes had.

Day five was agony. I had taken an intermediate hot yoga class (my second thus far) with the heat gauge set at 105 for 60 minutes. Never had a class made me push myself so hard. I walked out of the class exhausted, drained and becoming stiff almost immediately. I got home and laid down, my entire body aching and throbbing as I tried to find a comfortable position without success. I stared at the ceiling and became aware that I could feel the outline to some of my internal organs. In my mind I could trace the perimeter of my kidneys, my liver, even my spleen. Every organ seemed to scream at me. Judging me for my years of being irresponsible. Was this challenge a bad idea?

As I lay there groaning in pain it suddenly occurred to me that I had not increased my liquid intake since beginning yoga. I crawled to the refrigerator and quickly filled a 22 ounce glass full of decaffeinated iced tea and drank it down without so much as a break. I did this two more times and went back to take my position sprawled out on the couch to let my body rest. Over the next 30 minutes I felt the cold liquid trickle into my stomach, intestines, arms, legs, head and face. I felt the sensation of my organs suddenly relaxing as the hydration made its way throughout, filling in the fluid spaces that had been sweat out during the last few days. With this rebirth came new hope that I had not completely destroyed myself over the years of neglect. Maybe there was hope for me yet. Onward and upward....

Ouch.

Some unconscious changes have occurred in my life, along with many actions of purpose. To start (and to reduce our grocery bill) I quit drinking soda and vitamin water, swapping it instead for decaf iced tea and ice water with lemon. I made the change thinking I'd 'curb' my soda intake back in November. Now, two months later I have found myself no longer craving the magic elixer of corn syrup and carbonation....well, for the most part.

The next change to my life was marrying the love of my life. The man I spent 30+ years searching for. The man who made me feel comfortable writing sentences ending in prepositions regardless of what many of us had been taught to do. His awareness of work/ life balance is well defined, where mine is (was) completely out of whack. Now I feel emotionally complete. I am blessed with friends, family and my guy. How lucky am I.

I then moved on to challenging myself to improve my health. This has proven to be an exercise in getting to know my body. There is a new relationship being forged between the idea of my body and health and its reality. To cannonball myself into this effort, I opted for '21 days of yoga' - the only exercise that seemed innate to me. As a child watching endless hours of television I would do random stretches to keep myself physically occupied while watching Dallas or Dukes of Hazard. Unknown to me at the time, many of these 'stretches' would resurface in my yoga classes as 'poses'. I am not a runner, a weightlifter, a talent in team sports - my body and mind just don't seem to connect the dots and make those things happen. Yoga found me long before I found it.